It all started in a pretty benign way: a grey hair here, a sense of being stuck, no perspective in my marriage, stimulating work but no where else to go. No big deal so far, things were “OK”. I went to seek some help to relieve some of the lingering questions, still no big deal, i guess everybody goes through that. And then i told my wife (no kids) how I felt. That’s when the storm came out in full force. Within month I found myself at the brink of a divorce, I am drinking and smoking myself silly to numb the pain, and the questions about my future and my empty existence keep getting bigger and bigger. Worst of all I can’t seem to see any way out. Is it my marriage? Is it my aging self? Is it my job? I have no answers, all I can feel is a sense that i need to burn everything to the ground and restart fresh, and even that seems so difficult that I can’t do anything about it.
Are there others, esp. men who have experienced such a phase? How did you cope and what helped?
After reading the answers so far I should clarify that I am seeing a counselor. I think it has helped me better understand what is missing in my life, but has also aggravated my crisis by exposing what I need to change. It is however overwhelming to find the strength to take the first steps. I find myself frequently in doubt about what the right step is, and if it will lead to an improvement or just make everything worse.