dw_1200 asked:

It all started in a pretty benign way: a grey hair here, a sense of being stuck, no perspective in my marriage, stimulating work but no where else to go. No big deal so far, things were “OK”. I went to seek some help to relieve some of the lingering questions, still no big deal, i guess everybody goes through that. And then i told my wife (no kids) how I felt. That’s when the storm came out in full force. Within month I found myself at the brink of a divorce, I am drinking and smoking myself silly to numb the pain, and the questions about my future and my empty existence keep getting bigger and bigger. Worst of all I can’t seem to see any way out. Is it my marriage? Is it my aging self? Is it my job? I have no answers, all I can feel is a sense that i need to burn everything to the ground and restart fresh, and even that seems so difficult that I can’t do anything about it.

Are there others, esp. men who have experienced such a phase? How did you cope and what helped?
After reading the answers so far I should clarify that I am seeing a counselor. I think it has helped me better understand what is missing in my life, but has also aggravated my crisis by exposing what I need to change. It is however overwhelming to find the strength to take the first steps. I find myself frequently in doubt about what the right step is, and if it will lead to an improvement or just make everything worse.

me asked:

I **** my life right now, it seems. I am in my forties, a single parent to a *******. My childs fatherleft me while pregnant got another preg at the same time, wouldnt help for 2 years, then took me to court for 4 for custody. i had to quit school to deal with it all. i worked menial jobs- waitress ect. i finally went back to school, worked- NO social life. work, sleep, school, child. now i am graduated finally in prof position, which i am starting. childs dad puts me down all the time or wont talk, wont resolve, tells me my life suc@s, i am a loser, basically. my friends i used to have no longer interest me at ALL. i have moved on, they havent. I am scared to start my new job/responsibilties. i struggled for so long, i am jaded: i have lived in terrible neighborhoods, had to deal with bad bosses, neighbors, ect. I feel lonely and actually didnt want a man before, now i feel desperate somehow to find someone to share my life with, but cant. I **** my apartment and want to mov

Sway asked:

I switched companies a year ago but I have been doing the same technical sales job for a while. Now, the job remained the same but the technology I sell is different and even though I have 15+ years experience in this field, it seems like an uphill battle to learn this stuff. I have the capability to learn it but I feel tired and like it is a lot of effort to do so.

Work has been slow and managment has had a lot of changes. I guess over the summer, all of this has left me with a lot of apathy about my work which is 180 degrees (my wife use to fuss at me because I put work ahead of family) of where I have been. You would think that I’d be doing more around the house and with the family but I think I’m slipping the wrong way. I just don’t feel like doing much of anything.

I am mid-thirties and ADHD (hypoactive) but I’m pretty sure my meds are still working. I feel like something is overpowering them instead of them not working.

Any tips to getting me on the right track?

Anita Z asked:

I work in a pretty low stressed job (finance/accountant), from 9 to 5 at mid level. I used to work in much more senior roles but realised it was too stresful. I walk to work five days a week as I love the exercise. It takes me an hour and a quarter each way. By the time it comes to Friday evening, I’m exhausted and usually spend Saturday completely relaxing. I don’t have children (I’m in my mid 40s) and wonder how Mothers do it all? I’m in very good health, am almost a vegetarian (just eat some fish) don’t smoke and drink just a glass every few weeks. I’m wondering why I’m so wrecked at the weekends?

Anita Z asked:

I work in a pretty low stressed job (finance/accountant), from 9 to 5 at mid level. I used to work in much more senior roles but realised it was too stresful. I walk to work five days a week as I love the exercise. It takes me an hour and a quarter each way. By the time it comes to Friday evening, I’m exhausted and usually spend Saturday completely relaxing. I don’t even have children (I’m in my mid 40s) and wonder how Mothers do it all? I’m in very good health, am almost a vegetarian (just eat some fish) don’t smoke and drink just a glass every few weeks. I’m wondering why I’m so wrecked at the weekends?

Anita Z asked:

I work in a pretty low stressed job (finance/accountant), from 9 to 5 at mid level. I used to work in much more senior roles but realised it was too stresful. I walk to work five days a week as I love the exercise. It takes me an hour and a quarter each way. By the time it comes to Friday evening, I’m exhausted and usually spend Saturday completely relaxing. I don’t even have children (I’m in my mid 40s) and wonder how Mothers do it all? I’m in very good health, am almost a vegetarian (just eat some fish) don’t smoke and drink just a glass every few weeks. I’m wondering why I’m so wrecked at the weekends?